Tender Bar

The Confexecutioner is a lightweight lush, and to prove it, presents you with a few luscious libations to pair with past posts.

Basque Sangria: 1 part Mexican Coke (the soft drink), 1 part Red wine. The amount in each part is up to you. I recommend ice molded into clever shapes. Pair with anything you might drink red wine or Coke with, which is to say, everything.

Bo-J Spritzer: While at Trader Joe's, remember to pick up the Blood Orange soda and some $5.49 Pinot Grigio. This is almost as good as hand squeezing a bag of Blood oranges, adding sparkling water and a more expensive Pinot Grigio. Either way, go with the aforementioned ice cubes. 

Stout Affogato: It isn't an insult, though it does seem to call for a colorful hand gesture. Take a large scoop of Vanilla ice cream and top with 1/2 cup of Imperial Stout. Beer nuts are optional.

The Confexecutioner is neither a trained bartender nor a seasoned consumer of spirits. However, the above beverages have been concocted and taste-tested numerous times for quality assurance.

Hot Cakes

"Mommy, I want pancakes for breakfast, but I don't want them to burn, and I don't want the fire alarm to go off"  - Confexecutioner Jr., age 3

Take 1 cup of Flour, and mix in 1 and 1/2 tsps Baking Powder and 1/2 tsp Salt. Add 1/2 cup Sugar, at least some of which should be Brown. Sprinkle about 1 tsp Ground Cinnamon into the dry mix and combine well. Take 1/2 cup Whole Milk, and whisk in gradually until the batter is wet and thick, with no unsightly lumps, like Michael Phelps. Fold in 1/2 cup of Sour Cream. Please do not use low or non fat, and please please do not use yogurt. Go to the corner store and get real sour cream, and don't forget to thank me later. Stir in 1/4 cup Honey. Heat up the pan, slather it with a buttload of real Butter. Do not use margarine or PAM: Do not make me come over there and churn you. Before the butter has a chance to scorch, ladle  about 1/4 cup of batter per pancake into the pan. Adjust the heat if you need to. When bubbles appear on the surface of each pancake, it's time to flip them gently with a really good spatula. Layer pancakes onto a warm plate, and replenish butter in the pan between batches.

These do not require any condiments, but I am not going to tell you how to eat your pancakes. Enjoy, and hopefully the Fire Department will only come to mind because of their annual Pancake Breakfast.